Difficult People

Written By: John Hoxsey
Certified Master Loan Processor (CMLP)

Is there someone in your sphere of business — a domineering manager, a demanding broker, or maybe even a difficult underwriter or account rep — who drives you crazy?

Difficult people exist at work and they come in every variety. Dealing with these types is easier when the person is just generally obnoxious or when their behavior affects more than one person. But it is much more difficult when they personally attack you or undermine your professional standing.

My initial reaction to these situations is to want to respond with equal force. That, however, is not a good idea if you want to continue to maintain strong business relationships. While you probably can’t change such a person, the good news is you can avoid being their victim.

Learn to recognize when someone in the workplace is “toxic.” Difficult people come in all shapes and sizes: Some talk constantly and never listen. Others must always have the last word. Some coworkers fail to keep commitments. Others criticize anything that they did not create themselves. A toxic coworker can take the form of a cut-you-downer, a two-faced backstabber, a gossip, a meddler, an instigator, or a nasty competitor.

Initially, you might be shocked that you are being treated unprofessionally. Take a deep breath, and try to understand exactly what is happening to you. Realize that you are not alone.

Once you are fully aware of what is happening, deciding to live with the situation long-term is rarely an option. Your situation won’t improve unless you do something about it. In fact, left unaddressed, it usually gets worse.

As problematic as the person may be, there are many dysfunctional approaches to dealing with them in which you do not want to engage.

Try to keep your confrontation private. Go to the person directly and see if you can resolve the situation without bringing others into the middle of it. If you approach a difficult person with the belief that he or she is as eager as you are to restore harmony, you can make the first move. Start your conversation with statements such as “I’m sorry for what I may have done to offend you” or “I could be wrong.”

If you personally dislike a coworker or business associate, you can still learn from their opinions, viewpoints, and ideas. If you can find something to appreciate about them, comment on it in a favorable way. If that person senses your allegiance, they will be naturally drawn to you, and you may both learn to get along despite your differences.

Remember - Your reputation is your business.

Happy Processing!!!

About the Writer. As one of NAMP's volunteer writers, John Hoxsey is currently a NAMP member in good standing and is a NAMP Certified Master Loan Processor (CMLP). If you would like to become a volunteer writer for NAMP, please email us at: blog@mortgageprocessor.org.